"Maybe.."

R.I.P. - 2/5/12

Kinda late in the night, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Today was supposed to be a day of celebration. My two friends Jayke and Jayme just had their birthday a couple hours ago, yet at the same time for me, it was also a day of grief and remembrance. Losing my best friend from high school not more than 2 years ago still lingers with me everyday. This loss was emotionally draining not because it was #1 or 2, but it was #3. Lucky number 3…or so they say. For awhile I hated that number, didn’t even want to see it, but no matter how many times I tried to forget it, it was always a part of me. 03/03/93…this was my birthday. But now, I cherish this number. I cherish it because now I can finally remember the memorable moments I shared with Michael. Michael Tanner Lockwood. I miss you man, everyone misses you. You changed and touched the lives of so many people. I’m so glad that I got to met you. Sorry I couldn’t visit you today, but someday I will. I promise. I think today my brain tried to forget Michael. There was a span of time today where I completely didn’t even realize it was his anniversary. It probably was to protect me from the painful past so it tried to shut him out. To be honest, If I would have thought about it all day, I probably would have broken down in tears. Most importantly I thank God for that. He definitely was a big help in my recovery. Lastly, Thank you Michael for being my friend. It was really one of the best years of my life and I’m grateful. Hope to see you soon on the other side.

                                                                           Your Friend, Josh